A topnotch site

Month: January, 2013

Panda points.

I made my first “boyfriend” wait a very long time until I opened my temple doors and lost the crown jewels to him. In plain English, I made the poor boy wait a very long time until I let him take my virginity. I put the word boyfriend between quotation marks because I’m still not sure to this day if he was actually aware that he was my boyfriend. I like to think of him as such even though he hardly waited until we’d finished to text another girl that he’d be round later. I will also never forget his face when my mum popped her head into my room and called him by a nickname I lovingly used to refer to him by around the house. Pretty sure he was unaware of that one as well.

Point is, am I really becoming as old and cynical as you can be at 20 years young or are people far too eager to hop into bed these days? Fuck buddies, casual sex, friends with benefits, one night stands… how ever you wish to label it. Magazines glamorize it, TV shows tell us it’s okay and normal but casual sex has never been something I’ve been drawn to.

Having just started university I’m surrounded by sex. Someone is always doing someone and personally I feel out of the loop by not joining in. Where I’m currently studying there is something called Panda Points. I’d never heard of the concept before starting here but apparently it’s all the rage. It consists of an accumulation of points that you can (but shouldn’t) obtain by not having sex for a certain amount of time. For example if you spend over a month without sex you gain one panda point and so forth. Once you’ve achieved six, rules say you must throw a panda party to let everyone know. I’m assuming this is in hope of a pity shag. Rules are slightly twisted at university and you receive a panda point per week without sex. I have yet to attend a panda party so the kids here have obviously got it down to a T.

I’m not condemning anyone’s life choices here. Have fun whilst I tut, knit and drink tea.

Subconsciously I think I’m actually gathering panda points because any excuse for a party is a good excuse. I actually own some really cool panda knickers I could wear.


Something I’ve learned today:

– My conversational French is way better whilst inebriated than in a classroom

Something that made me smile:

– Purchasing new stationary, including mini highlighters in every colour and a mini stapler that has metallic blue staples.


“I’m not cut out for real life…”

Title is a quote from a close friend of mine this morning. It was an extremely dramatic moment on what appeared to be a normal hungover Monday morning. We’d managed to climb out of a random student house, tread over sleeping bodies and abandoned beer cans to the cold, snowy outdoors. We thought we’d brave the 8 minute walk to the shop for survival snacks. We last about 3 before we both slipped on ‘black ice’ and fell into a giggly drunk/hungover heap. We’re just not cut out for real life. We abandoned mission and returned to bed.

It was just a joke but it really got me thinking. Real life is a scary concept yet, unfortunately, so many people my age haven’t quite caught on to it yet. In my humble opinion, staying up until 3 in the morning frantically working out how you’re going to pay your next council tax bill is real life. Knowing never to wash brand new, bright red jean with your whites is real life. Living on campus as a slightly older student I pay a lot of attention to how other first years slowly begin to grasp ‘real life’. I see university as a safety net for many to have a small taste into the real world. It’s interesting to see how so many different individuals live and learn.

On a happier note, it’s still snowing. We had a drunken snowball fight last night and I built a snow-lady. I woke up this morning to a fresh layer of snow but my snow-lady had been knocked over. Is it wrong that I got angry watching small children stealing my fresh snow? Still wrong if I think they were very possibly the snow-lady killers? Or maybe I was just too hungover for real life.



Something I’ve learnt today
– People who leave beer cans half-full really upset me.


Something that made me smile today
– Brownies

Have you ‘instagram-ed’ your dinner today?

The final push I needed to start this blog happened to me at Victoria coach station last week. I was just casually waiting for my coach when I “accidentally” tuned into a very loud conversation a young male was having next to me on his iPhone. The conversation went a little something like this:


+ Nah man, she’s Spanish but has been living in a UK for a while now…
– How did you meet?
+ Well she uploaded a hot pic on Instagram so I commented on it. She asked me if I had twitter. We sent each other a few Facebook messages and it kicked off from there really.

It was this conversation that really convinced me that every moment there really are less and less people who’s lives don’t resemble something you’d find on Pinterest. It was this conversation that convinced me I really am as uncool as I think I am. And finally, it was this conversation that made me realize that no matter how much I like to say it I’m not so uncool I’m cool again.  I don’t own an iPhone or have a Twitter account.  I’ve never linked a tweet from my Facebook with an Instagram picture of my dinner (in case that doesn’t make sense, it’s not supposed to). For this reason, my blog. For the few people out there who can only drool at picture perfect lives posted on Pinterest, Lookbook and Instagram. Or for those who have no interest in being picture perfect.

I’m a horrifically outspoken, slightly overconfident yet extremely self conscious 20 year old girl/woman who’s life currently resembles… my own homemade mess. I’m starting this blog with a invitation to the world wide web into my daily life. There will be no Instagram photos of my lunch (you can all find pictures of a Sainsburys pre-made lunch online), no DIY posts (unless it’s something well cool, so still probably no) and no outfit posts (I dress in the dark and sometimes wear the same pair of jeans twice).

So here’s to the guy from Victoria coach station, I wish him many happy years with his new hot Spanish girlfriend.


Something I’ve learnt today
– Fruit flies don’t die within an hour

Something that made me smile today
– A hug from someone I hadn’t seen in a very long time